VENUS SAYS ASTRONAUTS REACHED OUT INAPPROPRIATELY
M. Toole | Jun 07, 2020 | Comments 0
(Pluto) Venus says she was indecently touched by astronauts “reaching out” back in 1997. In what she now calls the Estrella Inquisition, Venus claims to have been relaxing on her porch when two men from another galaxy joined her and began to close in with affectionate gestures. Being a proper woman she decided to flee into a safe corner of the Universe.
Why she waited all his time to come forward was not discussed at the time the law suit was filed. Lawyers for Venus say it was a clear case of sexual harassment back then and sexual assault by today’s measuring stick.
Despite the fact that the crime occurred long before the statute of limitations they say they will bring the matter before a court of law “due to the grievance and potential explosive reactions by civil rights groups and Greek and Roman gods”.
A spokesman for the Brotherhood of Space Wanderers told reporters the accusations were ridiculous and that Venus is just trying to blackmail his group and NASA as well.
“What can you expect from a woman who poses in her birthday suit on a scallop shell?” he asked.
Meanwhile Venus remains out of the public view as she has for centuries. Her lawyers did not return our phone calls Friday.
– Tommy Middlefinger
Filed Under: Featured Peeks
