WAL-MART GIRL (to the tune of Surfer Girl)

Little Wal-Mart, consumed one

Credit cards come all undone,

Can you hear me

Can you, Wal-Mart Girl?

I have watched you from afar

drag you fat butt from your car

Don’t you get it,

Don’t you Wal-mart Girl?

Saturdays, we shop together

at the Super Store

In my pickup I will take you

straight to aisle four.

What you buy is no one’s business

on your shopping rounds

Better that you skip the check-out

and loose twenty pounds.

Now I say from me to you

I will make your charge card due

You don’t need it

You don’t Wal-Mart Girl.

– Kevin Haley, with apologies to the Beach Boys