Visitors May Take Three Cups of Snow in 2014

(Lake City) Due to high-yield snowfall late in the season, summer visitors will once again be allowed to take small amounts of snow home with them this year. The allotment of three cups, up from two cups last year and one in 2012, is per family unit.

The procurement of the legal amount of snow is bound by the honor system and climatologists hope that gatherers will cooperate so there is enough snow to go around.

Anyone suspected of selling the perishable white stuff in snow-challenged regions of the country could lose snow-gathering privileges for life. Those collecting yellow snow will be reprimanded and turned over to mental health officials for observation.

– Marianne Marvelous