Vietnam Nudges Colombia in Ugliest Dog Competition
M. Toole | Jan 30, 2017 | Comments 0
(Seoul — Why You Say Dawg News) — As of five o’clock the Republic of Vietnam has pulled ahead of perennial champion, Colombia and longtime powerhouse Grenada in the once prestigious International Ugliest Dog Pageant held in Seoul, Korea.
Angry critics insist that opening kennel doors to cats has lowered the stauture of the event causing it to lose it’s luster in the wake of what they call the diluted nature of today’s contest.
“Grandmother” (Ba) of Hoi An, is quick to point out that she has never been a contestant in the Ugliest Dog Pageant. She has however coached three of her colleagues to various honors.
The final competition, including the controversial bone and bathing competition, is slated for the weekend. Many mongrels see this intense face-off as the make or break in the event and their careers as ugly dogs. Local promoters expect more people than dogs in the gallery.
The International Canine Club, operating out of a back alley in Singapore verified the mongrel hierarchy much to the dismay of anyone other than a few skinny cats. Here are the current standings rated from one to ten.
Vietnam: 9.5 Colombia 9.2 Grenada 8.5 Cuba 8.3 Ecuador: 7.9 Laos 7.1 New Jersey: 6.8 Malaysia: 6.4 Nicaragua: 4.9 Kenya: 4.0
Honorable mention: Kampuchea, Brasil, Greece, Trinidad, Portugal and Dixie
– Dag Katz
Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder
