Over-grazing by tourists threatens quality of life

     If bomb-wielding anarchists get their way it could be mandatory for out-of-state tourists to possess visas and pass basic intelligence tests as effort to jury visitors in 2027 gets lift in Colorado House.

     Other subjects undressed in this week’s forum include proposals to limit credit card use by rewarding tourists for using cash, road blocks and detours and municipal user fees not exceeding 25% of expenditures.

     “We want to attract the right kind of visitors. We don’t call them tourists, a term with bad associations that we deem offensive. If the current traffic continues we will have nothing to offer the thinking traveler and our home will become a wasteland for everyone.

     In a what is seen as a particularly desperate move, one elected official suggested offering all expense paid trips to Disneyland for those who cooperate with the new limitations while waiting for their invitations to Colorado.

     “We don’t want to kill the golden goose, we just want to limit the size of the eggs she lays,” said one rational voice.

“We’re in this world as tenants. The only thing we take with us is our good deeds.”  – Yiddish saying