Tourists Warned of Dry Water This Summer

(Telluride) Visitors to Western Colorado are reminded that despite the comparatively low threat of forest fire this season that local water will remain dryer than normal. Although not particularly noticeable at first, tourists who repeatedly drink or bathe with it will begin to detect low moisture counts and may even encounter instant evaporation syndrome.

“No one is at risk,” said water wizard Syd Fahrdt, who has been catching rain illegally around these parts since 1912. “It’s not like the water will hurt you. It’s just that the water is chronically dry.”

Persons who insist on drinking bottled water should continue to do so while others, who bathe once a day, could notice slight skin irritation due to general dryness.

Although the water content of local water is stable at 100% and the stuff looks the same to the naked eye it will be months before researchers can determine any side effects associated with living on the planet.

“The streams and rivers here still support the same aquatic life as before and the toilets still flush on command,” said Fahrdt. “The fire department confirms a healthy success ratio putting out small blazes with the water too. In reality we don’t expect problems. It just that we have nothing else to do over here at the water works and we love to be quoted in the papers.”

Fahrdt concluded by saying there was no truth whatsoever in rumors that the dust, which often plagues the area in the summer, will be wetter than usual and that the sun will fall from the sky sometime in August.

– Small Mouth Bess   

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”   – Katherine Hepburn