The Ersatz Presidency

A One-Act Play

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming and detour from our usual exclusion of all things Trumpesque because of the overload of issues generated by his presence at the helm. Our policy has been no avoid giving the President attention just like one would do with a mad child.

Scene: The Tower of Babble in NYC

Richard Wagner’s “Dien its das Reich” is playing in the background.

Steve Bannon: No you don’t understand! The orange hair stays. It’s all part of the distraction. He needs to keep the hair. It is such a magnificent smoke screen and it keeps too much from going over his head. I demand he keep the hair!

Will Hurd (R-TX) “The wall is a 3rd century solution to a 21st Century problem”

Jeff Sessions: I tried to dye my hair orange to match the President’s mop but it came out a kind of fool’s gold color. Now will the rest of the Cabinet and House GOP follow suit?

Kellyanne Conway: The Democtars are listening to us on the microwave. The shipment of red ties arrives in the House tomorrow. Then we will see who is loyal and who is not by color of the noose around their necks.

John McCain: What about the Russian dressing? This is blue cheese.

Will Hurd (R-TX) “The wall is a third century solution to a 21st Century problem”

Ted Cruz: What’s that? I missed it. I was talking to God.

God: “Why do you act like this Ted?
Why do you tell the sheep that you talk to me.
We have never talked. You are a hateful fake

Donald “Don’t Call Me Don” Trump: We appear to have accidentally pulled federal funding from FOX NEWS. It’s fantastic!

Mike Pence: My heart is with the GOP. I await my ascendency. My eyes are on my bank account. My soul is in an Indianapolis dumpster.

Ivanka Trump: Buy my line at Wal-Mart

Steve Bannon: Can I borrow some shampoo? I left mine in the War Room. Why is do I look like a wino? Why is my hair always dirty?

All: Trumpty Dumpty Putin and Lie, grabbed the girls and made them cry.

THE END