TAYLOR HALL SELLS FOR $2.6 MILLION

(Gunnison) In what appears to be a case of mistaken identity Taylor Hall was yesterday purchased by a Kansas couple. The buyers, who refused to be interviewed, will take possession of the property in early 2022.

Taylor Hall is the oldest building on the campus of Western Colorado State University. It currently houses most administrative offices including admissions, the college president’s chambers, alumni affairs, classrooms and many student support services such as a hair and body piercing salon and a state-of-the-art shooting range in the basement.

Myrna Beckerman, the Realtor who first listed then sold the hallowed hall, said she mixed up the property in a zip code meltdown and this week’s pandemic.

“How was I to know?” she whined. “Those photos in the Multi-Listings are always faded. They look like shots from a Manson family photo album. Who can blame me for doing my job. The price tag was negotiable.”

Prices for living eunuchs in Gunnison County have been in a mysterious upswing of late despite the high cost of survival and the lack of decent jobs.

“It’s not our fault,” said Beckerman. “It’s their fault.”

She did not elaborate or clarify to whom she was referring. In a canned statement her words were bottled up and somewhat jarred…all but recycled, clearly partisan.

As a result of the transaction the current residents of Taylor Hall may be looking for new digs come December. Although an appeal is in progress some there are dreading a move in the middle of winter.

“I have a nice little two-bedroom duplex on North Wisconsin that might be in their price range,” said Beckerman. “Otherwise I suggest checking out those cute storage units over by the airport.”

– H. L. Menoken  

Why can’t the White Right

blacken its faces

and sit at the table

in the hall of the races.