All Entries Tagged With: "same old offensive line problems plague Denver"

DENVER FAILS TO UNDRESS LINEMEN ISSUE

Did you hear that the Bronco offense gets a bye next week?

How can you tell?

Hefty loitering fine levied on Bronco line

(Mile High City) Exhuming a remote, little used aggravated loitering ordinance thought to have been created as a joke back in 1887, the City and County of Denver have sanctioned the offensive line and coaches associated with the professional football team that will hereby be referred to as the Denver Broncos.

Several of the coaching staff could face counts of entertainment fraud and the lack of insider trading.

“The performance has been tedious and not the least bit accommodating unless you like chaotic launches, stumble runs, and over crowding around the line of scrimmage,” said one councilman who rarely criticizes the franchise.

“It’s like going to a play where all of the players have forgotten their lines.”

Meanwhile Sectarians for Thought, a right-wing element that blames helmets for head injuries on the gridiron, is pushing for the passage of Sector Decree #611 which classifies derisive talk, witty ridicule or even a mocking tone regarding Bronco offensive linemen within the city limits.

Persons convicted of this remotely concocted venue could spend the rest of their lives driving on I-25.

-Fred Zeppelin

“I had the blues so bad one time

It put my face in a permanent frown

But now I’m feelin’ so much better

I could cake walk into town.”

-Taj Mahal