All Entries Tagged With: "Ouray"
It’s all attitude high above Jardin, Colombia
Jardin’s local athletes perform bicycle stunts daily on the steepest part of the road above town. This guy went all out when he saw gringos with a camera. (Photo by Leland Saki)
Brush Strokes
with Toole of the Andes
Guillotine replacement parts delivered to your basement or bunker. Bonded. Winter Special: Spend $200 and receive 5 little whicker baskets free of charge. Heads above the rest in service. www.robespierretech.com or see our ad in the Jello Pages.
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Fishing gone south so open a Fish Museum. Farming not profitable: Begin ah-tourism visits to Real Farms! Tree Museums? MINE TOURS? Breathing salons? ’57 Chevy simulated cruising in 1959?
Math Corner: If John spends 83% of his time watching FOX News how much time would he then have to post rants and polarizing statements on Facebook? 37%? 27% 74% OR 7% What about Mary? Would she think for herself the voting booth or simply vote the way John tells her to vote?
Can you last three rounds with Stephen Miler, the Joseph Goebbels of the current Administration? No prize money – jus the enjoyment of beating the shit out of a nazi racist pig. Watch out though. He probably has a razor in his boot.
“An evangelist should be careful not to identify the Gospel with any one particular political program or culture,” – Billy Graham, following the Watergate indictment of Richard Nixon.
We’d like to have a moment of meditation for our dear friend the departed colleague John Music: “Bugha Bugha.” Thank you for your patience.
Adopt a Congressman! The corporations certainly have.
Seeing the winter thru Rose-Colored Glasses
(Paonia) In an attempt to create a remedy for the dreadfully horrible and very real seasonal affective disorder or (Sad), extremely imaginative scientist have produced the first available rose tinted glasses.” The spectacles will be released to the public on March 1.
The disorder, affecting normal people in winter regions everywhere, happens during colder months since there is progressively less sunlight each day until the Solstice. If you feel exceptionally moody, hungry, tired, cold, bored, bummed, and overall hopelessly miserable, you may suffer from seasonal affective disorder.
Top scientist have figured out a way to contain happiness and then to transfer it into an ordinary pair of 2 dollar glasses. When placed upon the face, the wearer is reported to be immediately overcome with a sense of overall content and well being. Things appear brighter and more beautiful. Spokesman Zeb Smith told Horseshoe reporters “the glasses are a reward for all those people who struggle through winter each year and barely make it out alive. They may also substitute for smoking marijuana.
At this time manufacturers are quite unsure of the wide ranging effects the glasses could invariably create in the world. We suspect the results will be extremely positive. The best thing about them is that they are entirely invisible. No one needs to know that the wearer naturally hates everything during winter months.”
The glasses can be purchased at the Old River Road Trading Post for 2 dollars a pair. No exam is needed. If you feel no different when putting on the Real Rose Tinted Glasses then you do not have the disorder.
– Lady Jane
TRUMP APRUEBA PUTIN PARA EL PRESIDENTE
Poniendo fin al temor de que apoyaría a Vladimir Putin como Presidente de los Estados Unidos, Donald Trump apoyó hoy al líder ruso como Presidente de la Federación Rusa.
Si bien los analistas de la Unión Europea sugieren que Putin no necesita mucha ayuda en su intento de reelección, “siempre existe la posibilidad de que no sea elegido y se verá obligado a asumir su control de hierro a través de canales más subrepticios.
“Putin dirigirá el programa aquí sin importar cómo resulte la votación”, dijo el líder opositor Alexey Navalny, un prominente activista anticorrupción, a quien se le prohibió postularse a la presidencia luego de lo que muchos consideran como una convicción fraudulenta inventada.
Las encuestas indican que Putin, un ex teniente coronel de la KGB, es un ganador seguro a pesar de las charadas que acompañan a las elecciones. Ha estado en el poder durante 18 años y ha llevado a Rusia desde el caos de Glasnost a un estado totalitario como el de un zar, donde no se tolera la protesta política.
“¿Qué es un poco de piratería, dopaje, gangsterismo, sanciones impuestas entre amigos?”, Dijo la declaración de la Casa Blanca.
“Aplaudimos la resistencia de Putin y su manejo de la prensa y de otros disidentes. Putin ha estado en control desde 1999, convirtiéndolo en el gobernante ruso más veterano desde Joseph Stalin y su infame bigote / bigote, que comenzó después de la Ofensiva Kerensky.
Snow architects need permit
Even pretty snowmen are on the reformist radar
(Crested Butte) Persons engaged at building structures from snow must have a valid building permit according to inspectors here in Gunnison County. Projects such as snow forts, snow pits, ice/snow sculptures, trophy igloos and even snowmen fall under this new regulation enacted by county officials on Tuesday.
The action comes amid fears of overwhelming snow depths this year. The legislation goes into effect in 2019 giving residents and visitors a grace period in which to finish up projects started in 2018. It remains to be seen whether or not other counties will follow suit on the controversial move.
“We’re forced to do something,” said one council member. “We can’t stand by while people build and build. So what if it’s all going to melt someday,” she said. “We’re concerned with right now. While we don’t blame people for taking advantage of cheap building material the situation here is deteriorating into structural anarchy.”
According to county records some 250 snow structures have sprung up since the last big dump, often blocking access roads and pedestrian pathways throughout the municipal region. With another 98 inches of snow forecast for this evening it’s a now or never proposition, according to people familiar with the seasons here.
“We busted a couple of kids building a snowman Friday right out on Highway 135,” said the source. “Now what were they thinking? Soon these kinds of violations will be subject to fine.”
But county officials promised to go easy on juveniles guilty of infractions, unless the situation is deemed aggravated.
It was not clear if tunnels, wind breaks, mounds or snowmaking operations would fall under this fresh criteria.
Citizens are reminded that stacked firewood, parked cars and loitering will be tolerated in accordance with the existing statutes.
– Suzie Compost
“If you are not willing to die for your freedom you don’t deserve to be free. Not this 3.2 freedom – it is real freedom from fear and want. Real freedom from the people who keep you down.” – Gyro Juju, 611
