All Entries Tagged With: "miners"
View from home
A view of the sweeping pasture, mesas jutting out, Storm King, deer and elk enjoying an evening snack. Then the river valley closes up on itself and surrenders to the massive San Juan Cordillera to the south.
Pickin’ in the afternoon
Local musicians playing bluegrass in front of Castle Creek Guitars in Gunnison after rodeo.
Colorado Golf Courses Look to Hemp as Savior
(Mañana) Many local golf courses could be watering hemp instead of grass by 2020. Over the past two seasons the herb has emerged as a favorite of the thirsty recreation industry in the Rockies and other dry, high altitude fairways.
Although the beautiful aspen and pine would not be disturbed and the out-of-bounds would still be dominated by wicked sagebrush and cedar, the fairways, tee boxes and even the greens would be nurtured as and comprised of hemp.
Work-a-day golfers appear to have been caught with their drivers down due to changes that would be taking place and dollars that would be saved. Elite memberships have applauded the fiscal benefits of industrial hemp mowed and tapered to a fine trim. They say there have been no complaints.
“It gives a new meaning to the word “fairway”, said Harry Player, professional at Mother of Pearl Ski and Golf in Wimpton.
“It flourishes with less water than grass creating a powerfully dense landscape and attractive out of bounds area,” he said. “It’s naturally resistant to most pests. It winds its way tightly and out-competes most weeds. It in harmony with most climates and soil types and the scent is restful and serene. It’s so good the gov’ment had to make it illegal so the oil and lumber interests could survive,” he laughed.
Instructors in Washington and Oregon, who have observed the affects of hemp on handicaps, say their students are less demanding and regular players are more relaxed resulting fewer strokes and better scores. Despite the common distractions associated with the herb the overall affect is quite functional in 85% of the cases tested. The plant has a calming affect even without the THC component.
Meanwhile in golf course snack bars and lunch counters sales are brisk with appetites enticed by the tantalizing aromas and pungent floral display. Maintenance and office staff appear comfortable surrounded by the almost idyllic growth, are more relaxed and therefore more productive. Hemp parking lots, which have been around for decades, create shade and allow for a natural blueprint and further green space to be enjoyed by the community.
Several Confront Range courses are already using hemp oil to power golf carts saving money and providing a smoother ride over newly mowed hemp landing zones and grassy greens. Most say they will phase out grass altogether by 2025. Soon, industry spokesmen predict, a majority of sport facilities will turn toward the herb to provide everything from sunscreen to flood lights to ball washers, and at half the cost.
“We don’t need Chinese promotional products anymore either,” crowed an enthusiastic greenskeeper. “We’ll be crafting our own caps, gloves, and polos with hemp instead of cotton, which requires the application of dangerous pesticides and more water to thrive. Next year we hope to introduce golf bags made of domestically raised hemp.”
– Rex Monteleone
(Warning: The U.S. Assembly of Chips and Putts reminder: Inbounds smoking of cannabis on most green zone courses, while seemingly in perfect rhythm with your swing and your attitude is strictly forbidden by federal law. Violators will be arrested and put into private prisons where they will rake sand traps and build fence until their quart date emerges.)
Polly says: It’s important to do your stretches before the rodeo.
Subtle transportation at the 118th Cattlemen’s Days PRCA Rodeo held in Gunnison last weekend. A well presented and well attended summer tradition continues.
Cattlemen’s Days – Hot Summer and Good Times
Rodeo fans enjoy a Colorado Saturday night in Gunnison.
POP CULTURE WASTE DUMPED IN NEVADA
(Las Vegas) Tons upon tons of global-active pop culture waste begins its arduous trek to the sinks and basins of the Silver State this week. The controversial transport of the highly outrageous substances was approved by federal health authorities early this morning over the protests of sheepmen and casino owners from Bunkerville to Winnemucca.
“We don’t want pop culture waste dumped in our state,” said one gambling interest here. “Sure the stuff may look safe, packed away in its heat sensitive, hermetically sealed barrels, but what if it seeps out or simply refuses to go away?” he said. “Just because Nevada is perceived for the most part as a large, barren wind-swept badlands — we get the prize? What about Utah? The feds could dump popular culture waste on Salt Lake City for the next 100 years and no one would notice.”
Officially, popular culture waste is defined as the residue from mass culture that is virtually shallow and worthless yet global in proportion. Software, fast food, professional sports clothing, soft drinks, hype magazines, trendy fashion, trite music, television, slang, hair styles, Hollywood, video games, and methods of commerce are most visible, while banking, law enforcement, work ethics and religious affiliation round out the shadow culture currently being exported.
Marked USA, this mindlessly generated pollution is ravenously consumed by emerging nations that should be more interested in preserving age-old culture, feeding people and raising their standard of living.
“It’s shocking to see an Islamic militant preaching the destruction of the West in a Los Angeles Dodger hat,” said one former Mideast diplomat. “Deep down we are quite different although on the surface we’re looking pretty much the same.”
According to the latest estimates the pop culture litter, slowly fermented from the flood of consumer goods, could quickly fill up Western Canada. Discarded fast food wrappers and discarded televisions alone could cover up the ground surface of Alberta in just a few weeks.
A parade of unmarked trucks will take an undisclosed route to the dumps due to heightened security and the threat of sabotage. Pop culture icons such as Donald Trump and Martha Stewart will ride shotgun.
Upon arrival most of the waste will be safely stored in secure bunkers made of space-age aluminum, plastic and reinforced dirt. The rest will be recycled into new glitter for future consumption insuring the continuity of the phenomenon.
Looters will be shot on sight.
– Melvin Toole
