St Roscoe’s Apologizes for Flu Serum, Viagra Mixup

(Montrose) How it happened, or more specifically why a sexual enhancement product was on these hallowed shelves at all is the big question being asked in hospital corridors this morning.

Following yesterday’s frightening episode, where flu shot enthusiasts were given viagra instead of the regular serum they wanted, officials here are still trying to sort things out. How anyone could mistake one for the other is beyond belief according to patients and doctors who are calling for a thorough investigation.

Whether persons seeking viagra were administered flu serum had not been established at the time of this writing.

“Although we did not receive so much as one complaint from flu shot patients we knew something was wrong,” said Dr Phillip Lackluster of the College of Surgeons here.

“Normally persons receiving a flu shot exhibit slight drowsiness and lightheadedness following the unnecessary and barbaric procedure of injecting disease directly into their veins. These patients did not.

One emergency room official who was quick to point out that she had nothing to do with the foul up in the supply room said she thought a conspiracy was to blame.

“A lot of people are angry over the pharmaceutical-insurance-hospital complex and the subsequent costs of health care,” she said. People are capable of tricks like this. People can be mean when they see they are getting screwed while others are getting rich off their misery.”

She stopped short of calling the mishap an inside job adding that countless persons have access to pharmaceuticals at St Roscoe’s.

“It’s a hospital, duh,” she snapped.

But every cloud may have a silver lining.

“None of the patients who took viagra has come down with the flu,” smiled Lackluster, acknowledging that it was still early and that identifying and erection of symptoms alone could last more than four hours.”  -Warren of Wexley

For a related story turn to Venus de Milo Arms Sales Anger Milanese on Page 46 


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