RV MISTAKEN FOR RHODE ISLAND

(Norwood) The mobile barricade, which has been clogging Norwood Hill since Thursday, has been identified as a 7,000-ft. long recreational vehicle and not the state of Rhode Island, as had been previously surmised. The slow moving RV was at first identified as a land mass, due to failed attempts by the local highway department to dislodge it from surrounding rock formations.

“The blockage is in no way the fault of the great state of Rhode Island,” said Norwood pharmacist, Joe Vigil, who observed the event from behind the RV while attempting to deliver a prescription to a ranch up Ed Joe Draw. “It’s just that the damn thing displayed a license plate from that state. Isn’t it amazing how rumors get started?”

At press time, the RV is still attempting to scale the hill, having passed the second guardrail by noon and reaching speeds exceeding two miles per hour. An estimated 625 cars and pickups delayed by this venture will be airlifted into downtown Norwood under the cover of darkness. The RV itself will be designated as a new wilderness area. Its driver and passengers will be ticketed for impeding the normal traffic flow, and then shot.

 -Rocky Flats