PAPER TO BROADCAST DAWN TO DUSK

(Liberty City) Despite the forced adherence to Daylight Savings Time and its inborn social ills, the San Juan Horseshoe newspaper will transmit stories while the affects of the sun are evident. Departing from the mainstream nine to five genre, the publication seeks to expand readership and increase advertising revenue while lowering electric bills.
“We don’t care what time the feds say it may be,” said Susie Compost, an under-editor at the paper. “We just take a break from our typing and look up at the sky to decide when we should eat, sleep and perform cutting edge investigative journalistic feats with lasting ramifications for a healthy compendium of prototypical paragons deemed imperative for enduring cultural progression.”
Although the Federal Communications Commission has been mute regarding this break from customary procedure, insiders expect the new guidelines to be implemented without interference.
“We will not see-saw, teeter or vacillate when it comes to the fabrication of the news,” said Compost, who still flaunts a box of 120 color crayons in her top desk drawer. “Rain or shine our readers can expect full coverage through the daylight hours and welcome quiet during the subsequent dark periods.
The Horseshoe remains the only newspaper in the Free World that watches the clock in this manner, offering the complimentary dawn to dusk service 365 days of the year. The Juneau What, its Alaskan mentor, began publishing a popular Midnight Sun Edition for insomniacs in 1989. Research suggests that Giant of Sheep Creek Newspapers, continues to pull operational and human resource strings, stretching deep into the Rockies.
– One-Tooth McCabre