Many Elk See Themselves as Bullet-Proof

(Silverton) A vast majority of elk in Baker’s Park herds think they are above the laws of natural selection and out-of-range when it comes the efforts of hunters to shoot them. Most, especially the bulls, feel that their precision instincts and ability to evade the pursuer will save them from the freezer and/or the final barbecue.

Many also expressed certainty that the Colorado Division of Wildlife will protect them.

Elk responses, monitored in other regions of the Rockies did not share this optimism, splitting down the middle on the stringent issue of basic survival, quality of life and general well-being.

Perhaps the most interesting profile emerged within younger members of these herds who overwhelmingly felt that hunting season was too long and rutting season too short. Many of these adolescents expressed despair when shown the color orange and were openly cynical when it came to discussing year-round treatment at the hands of the DOW, their legal custodians.

Meanwhile the older entourage expressed concern that many of the more bravado members of their species might be in for a surprise when the hunters come to town. Saying that they didn’t live this long by taking chances, most confirmed that they will take on a more ambiguous demeanor and practice more elusive behavior during the season. Avoiding confrontation, they say, is the best way to make it through the daylight hours when armed mobs roam these hills.

Radical elements insisting that they must meet violence with violence were written off as loco, or at best naïve, by most other elk.

The inquiries did not touch on the loaded question of gun control since all game animals vehemently favor what they call “long overdue” legislation .

– Fred Zeppelin