Malfunction TV to Resume Broadcasts

News from “River City” – November 13. 2014
One of the Bland Valley’s top two television stations has promised to return to the air “pretty soon”. Owner and general manager Alvin Rabbit-Tears promised reporters that ZYX Television would be back up and running after technical problems shut her down last week.
“It wasn’t deliberate or nothin’,” said Rabbit-Tears.
The problem as outlined by engineers, was caused when one of the techies in Montrose accidently disengaged the amalgamated-core direct electronic feed to the direct transducer transformer, and a power drop occurred in the transitory remission relay center.
“The instruction book was all in Chinese,” whined Rabbit-Tears, “and we don’t have anyone around here that speaks Chinese.”
Civic leaders, who for decades have been trying to figure out how ZYX ever secured an FCC license, contend that the station is run by fifth graders and viewers should be a little more understanding of problems that might crop up. Many say the entire problem was caused when the night janitor tripped on the main power cord, effectively shutting down the operation.
“Be that as it may,” strained the manager, “but the trouble was severely compounded when highly trained technicians from the network center found discrepancies in the schematic design infrastructure (no one could find the plug) and were forced to perform a complete diagnostic analysis (They began moving the main studio furniture around) before they could isolate the faulty component (They found the plug) and inserted the power correlation device. (They plugged it in).
“We don’t expect our viewers to be able to follow all this specialized jargon,” said Rabbit-Tears, “any more than we might expect the readers of this newspaper to understand why rocks come in different sizes.”
– Mario Swervo