Kirk, Spock on Victory Lap

(Vulcan, CO) The “first-string” crew of the original Starship Enterprise will tour Western Colorado this summer in honor of visiting celestial aliens and as part of an overall awareness of outer space exploration.

Captain James T. Kirk, Officer Spock, Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, Ensign Pavel Chekov, Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott and Chief Medical Officer Leonard Bones McCoy will begin what is being called “a victory lap” by Trekkies in Grand Junction and meander through most rural counties ending in Vail for the start of ski season.

The journey, provoked by the popularity of interstellar crew members on the after dinner speaking circuit, will feature controlled reminiscence, one-to-one contact, question and answer seminars, rare footage from the Emmy Award winning television program, and a celebration recognizing the final defeat of the Klingons back in 1979. In addition pieces of the Starship Enterprise will be on display.

Funded by the United Federation of Planets, the six month excursion will leave plenty of time for adventure, bonding and morality, just like the one-hour serial. Crew members will appear in authentic Star Trek costumes, despite expected weight gain and the fact that the suits are made of uncomfortable polyester. Just for authenticity, they will communicate in familiar tongues of their native lands. All phasers must be checked at the door.

Highlights of the tour include an exhibition of the Vulcan mind meld, and the modern applications of tractor beams, the mystery of Tricorders, photon torpedoes and Romulan cloaking devices. Later in the visit the creator of the series, the late Gene Roddenberry, will be honored at a dinner in Paradox, his adopted hometown.

Despite the fact that the original presentation lasted only three seasons, rerun Star Trek episodes have had a powerful impact on generations all over the globe. An exact agenda of stops and schedules will be released at the Vulcan townsite, under Blue Mesa, on Friday.

– Gamma Cardassians