Hunters Warned of Stoppages

(Spar City, CO   The Rio Grande News Leaker   October 15, 2016)

Most of the toilets out in the woods are severely stopped up after a week-ling super hero convention held near Santa Maria Reservoir and Bristol Head in Mineral County. Although authorities stopped short of pointing the finger, it is quite clear that the attendees regularly slipped out of their Spartan digs to enjoy the relative peace and luxury of camp ground restrooms.

Hunters wishing to enjoy the facilities in most of Colorado’s National Forests and state parks may find a little more than they bargained for behind the old swinging door.

“It’s a mess up there,” said one ranger. “Hopefully we can get the flow back before the big freeze shuts us down for the winter.”

The Superheroes, demanding anonymity, insist that none of the Bristol Head entourage had crossed the line. Many were angry at the implication. They blame the stoppage on deer and elk or an occasional pack rat.

“We know the difference between bear, lion and herd animal scat,” quipped the ranger. “This is something altogether different and on a mass scale something out pipes cannot accommodate.”

Although little is known about the digestive system or capacities of super heroes local police fear the worst. One officer told The Horseshoe that he actually saw throngs of these “men and women of action” enter a facility at Seepage Lake and overwhelm the facility in just moments.

“While there is nothing illegal about Batman or Wonder Woman using the john the condition of the facility was deplorable and criminal in the strictest sense of the word,” said the officer. “Hunters, even those armed to the teeth, should avoid these depositories until at least the combined deer and elk season in November.”

A spokesman for the Forest Service said the entire agency is bracing for a gala Donald Trump victory party slated for November 9. Many feel the potential damage