Keeping the dust down

If you’re like me you get oh so sick of sweeping, mopping, vacuuming your wood and tile floors only to realize you are simply moving the dirt around. Even if you manage to get it all there is tomorrow’s batch of new dirt and dust poised below your doors and drifting through your windows. At best all that we have achieved is a temporary reprieve from the grit.

Then I noticed my ace in the hole, my canine resource, my overachieving retriever of bouncing objects and saliva who was only too happy to help me complete my cleaning projects with next to no effort on my part. No broom, no dust pan, no bending, no discarding of that fine dust that inhabits these Rocky Mountains.

I had reasonable expectations, logical twinges, hopeful encouragement and a treat or two to sweeten the deal. It was so easy that it didn’t qualify as a bona fide solution but it worked. It was genuine enough, if not an accepted proper method of cleaning. I simply threw a tennis ball across the living room and watched my four-legged associate go to work.

If one is prone to sea sickness or victimized by a weak stomach the results of the first session may be tough to swallow. The tennis ball soon becomes a mass of dirt and debris from your floor*. The grime is held in place, if only for a moment by involuntary dog drool and other spital originating somewhere in the depth of secretion and glandular order.

*It works on wood, linoleum, tile, marble, concrete and yes even non-shag carpet

Since dogs, even corporate robot ones, don’t generally reach out it is the responsibility of the human to make the first move. In most episodes the dog’s reaction will come simultaneously to the first airborne tennis ball.

One helpful tip is to moisten ball before the first round. This allows the mutt oral comfort and keeps the mouth fuzz at a minimum. Then spend a little time tumbling the ball in your hands for even distribution of your scent so your pooch partner knows who is in charge. Trouble shooting, although it looks dandy on the table, is irrelevant since one will clearly see the relativity of success from the kickoff. Projections are worthless. Either the dog has the talent or he does not.

Always keep dishes of water handy, clear of furniture and breakables, limit distractions such as TV and strangers on the playing field. Food should not be an option unless it is in the form of tiny treats which will only set parameters and can be terminated as soon as the canine realizes the fun that can be had simply catching the ball. Seek a balance where everyone is happy and nothing is demolished.

If you’re planning to use an ankle biter to clean the dust off your floors make sure its mouth is large enough to manipulate a regulation tennis ball. A small mouth will never work due to low saliva production per square inch and the inability to snatch the ball out of the air and spit it back to the thrower.

Cooperation is everything. Could Rover or Fluffy make competent homemakers? Unlikely

Can they cook? Not very well. Other talents may emerge structured entirely by attention span

If you are set on employing multiple dogs for big work areas please read my essay on Multiple Canine Dusting, and be sure to pair up dogs that like each other.

And cats? Forget it. Not for work -for ambience, suave and cosmic flow. Just ask one.

With proper application you too can have a cleaner floor and a more meaningful relationship with man’s best friend.

Filed Under: Featured Peeks


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