House Votes to Raise Ceiling

(Denver) The Colorado House voted overwhelmingly today to raise the ceiling in its historic Molly Brown Chambers. The blueprint calls for an extra three feet to be built into the existing framework giving elected officials more room to dramatize, wave their hands about, point the finger at opponents, and even filibuster.

“It takes a lot of room to filibuster,” reminded Rep. Gwenne Sprawl (R- Aurora). “Our task is difficult but everyone here favors expansion of one kind or another.”

Contractors, double-dipping as trades lobbyists, suggested that the creation of extra space will allow  Representatives more room in which to leave issues up in the air. In addition the new anatomy will allow for the display of Native American artifacts and photos of such Colorado standouts as Kit Carson, John Evans and the late Red Miller.

“And the acoustics are far better which might come in handy when someone wants to make a point or play a tune on the old trombone,” laughed a Finnish carpenter attempting to manipulate the over 500 yards of Latvian lattice trim implants that will cap the erection.

I hope we don’t run into structural problems,” continued Sprawl. The first estimates clearly indicate that the whole project would require a simple retaining wall covered up with drywall and a few coats of paint. Our budget cannot withstand any more surprises.”

While debate rages as to the color of the new paint, the House has tabled discussion on such tired topics as crime, pollution, dogs at large, education standards, the Bronco pass rush, overflowing landfills, the price of gasoline, water issues, chuckholes and a UN sanctioned invasion of Wyoming.

“We’re working on a strict deadline here and hope to complete construction by July 4th,” said an aluminum blinds contractor. “We may have to work right along with lawmakers on this one.  We’ll try not to make too much noise while the legislators are in session.”

– Small Mouth Bess