Hell Building Special Chamber for Racists

(Hades) The hammers and saws are singing amid the dirt, the rats and the deplorable heat down here. Crews start at dawn and work far into the night behind closed doors and sagging ceilings. In about three weeks, according to unreliable demons “new tortures will be the featured acts on Saturday Nights.”

For decades evil sources say they have been working on a new concept in the field of morality management. Although no one was talking for fear of retribution, we pieced together a framework of sorts that will greet racists as they enter the hellish gates for eternity. Readers are reminded that no remorse or justice is in play, only the rampant desire to make men miserable.

“We don’t care what kind of animals hess racists are on earth,” said one devil. “We just want to stick them with out pitchforks!”

The actual facility, stainless steel, with no windows or doors will see temperatures into the low 120s. Bad country music, FOX News, plates of Peruvian guano cookies and the smell of freshly cooked Kimchi will flow through the cramped and dangerous halls. Evangelical racists who have earned a lofty spot in the scheme of corporal punishment, will do the cooking and cleaning while torments and agony rage about them. Racists in denial will take out the trash, clean litter boxes, install drywall and wash windows forever.

– Alfalfa Romero