Happy Parking Spaces Catching On

(Pinkyville) Special, reserved parking spots for blissful, jovial drivers are popping up all over from country clubs to truck stops. The concept, along the lines of handicapped parking spaces is aimed at rewarding motorists for their positive attitude.

To qualify for these premium spots drivers must submit to a written test and a simulated life experience to determine eligibility. Many who think they are happy fall short of the plateau while others who see themselves as normal people trying to make it through another day are perfect candidates.

The happy spaces will become quite visible as winter sets in offering many citizens relief from long walks and parking lots brimming to the limit. Brain trusts herein feel that happy people should not have to waste a lot of time looking for a place to leave their car. Happy families, they say, should qualify for two spaces if they can prove minimum harmony and a diminished carbon footprint.

Authorities, although cool to the proposals at first, have come around saying they expect the overall etiquette to improve with the addition of the Happy Spaces. Already, some say, road rage has dropped off and resentment toward the plethora of empty handicapped parking spaces has all but ceased.

Conversely a system of remote, potentially dangerous, poorly maintained spaces for the chronically angry will be up and running by the summer. These inconvenient and spartan spots are expected to feature mounds of broken asphalt, trash and biting flies. They are available to anyone, no matter his or her particular take on life.

-Alfalfa Romero