Gulf of Mexico Satirists Meet

Disenfranchised satirists, some carrying picts and farm implements, are said to be meeting at secret locations-primed for the coming jousts all over the planet. Gut feelings of many contend that the storm is not just on the horizon but way over the rainbow.

News twisters and union mockers reacted to the rumors that oil has been discovered on Mars and water on the Earth’s only moon with only slight smiles and sighs as if to say “Please. Not again.”

An emerging aw suit against what they call the American Taliban claims deprivation of livelihood, mental stress and hair loss. The satirists say Congressional Republicans and the White House have seized the parody baton and kept them from plying their trade.

“How do I get anyone to be astonished, to ponder, or even to giggle after they’ve seen posters of trump plastered all over the place?” said one lampooner who has taken to his bed and watches Humphrey Bogart films in an attempt to regain his composure.

“These people are more absurd than we could ever make them in words or gestures. It would be funny if they weren’t in charge of the gov’ment.”

“It is difficult to make fun of people who are already head over heels, the classic clowns of the town. When incompetence, arrogance and greed are the rules of thumb, there is no wiggle room for the index finger or even an innocent pinkie,” said  Professor B. Esteric Peawit BMI, ASCAP, BFD. LSMFT, of the Good Enough Gulch Peawits, and Visiting Fellow at Stinking Desert Middle School and Accelerated Graduation Institute.*

“Reagan was fun even, in dementia. Clinton was even better with his perverted taste in women. George W was a riot waiting to happen while Obama offered up an easy target. Even Joe Biden (the Gerald Ford of the Modern Age) allowed satirists and late night hosts enough leeway to laugh up one’s sleeve. In the interim, trump  can’t take a joke and his followers miss the opportunity to digest the irony inherent to exaggerated critique or ridicule. Teasing is out. Kissing ass is in.”

“Yeh, that too,” chimed the first lampooner.

Consider these presidential satire bullseyes:

Richard Nixon’s jaw and pointed nose

Gerald Ford’s golfball assaults on others at Vail

Jimmy Carter’s toothy smile and his brother Billy

Reagan’s pompadour, jelly beans and Nancy

George senior Bush’s CIA whine and his son Neil

Bill Clinton’s taste in White House aides

Little George’s difficulty with the English language. “Nuculer”

Obama’s White House basketball court

Joe Biden’s German Shepherds

Donald trump’s orange hair, fouled family, greed and racism.

*Professor Peawit was recently dismissed from her position as head of the Body Chemistry and Hand Anatomy Department after the school’s night janitor repeatedly discovered her sleeping in her locker in the teacher’s lounge.

-Kashmir Horseshoe

“If you were wondering how bad these Epstein files are, turns out they’re ‘invade Venezuela’ bad.” — JIMMY KIMMEL