Gout Club Disbands for Summer

Voting members of the Benjamin Franklin Gout Alliance plan to spend their summer reading 500-page historical novels about families they care nothing about and cannot even escape through, no matter how they till their furrows. 

Neophyte members will continue cultivating black cherry trees and fermenting apple cider vinegar to bottle in the fall.

With any luck and lower uric acid levels, the popular support group should reconvene in time for The Annual Tawny Port and Unhinged Protein Rendezvous held as part of the popular Heany Tick Festival in November.

Civic duties and hosting arrangements, dedicatedly fulfilled for decades by the gout club will be handled by the recently paroled elements of the Disappointment Valley Optimist Club.

– Gabby Haze