DUTCH CHARLIE APPREHENDED IN ARGENTINA

(Buenos Aires) An accused former SS officer known only as Dutch Charlie has been arrested in Argentina. The elderly culprit is allegedly the same Dutch Charlie that served in an elite Nazi unit in Poland during World War II. He is expected to be deported to Germany where he will stand trial for crimes against humanity.

Embarrassingly enough, a few years ago the state of Colorado may have named a reservoir near Ridgway, Colorado after the same man.

“That’s a lie,” said Melvin Von Toole. “Our Dutch Charlie was a brain-dead bureaucrat from Lamar. He pushed a pencil for the BLM through the Fifties then later functioned as a double agent for Colorado Parks and Recreation until his retirement in 1993. We think he’s living outside of Mexican Hat.”

Upon further examination we found no trace of this second Dutch Charlie in the Beehive State.

“When the state named the reservoir after this Dutch Charlie guy local residents were aghast,” said H.L. Menoken, a local gull canner and free-lance ukulele tuner who gave his address as “just up the road. “Nobody had a clue as to what or who they were referring. Cripes, they could have named the place after Otto Mears or even Chief Colorow.”

A spokesman for the state further denied implications that law enforcement policy at the reservoir was based on an SS manual.

“It seems that there’s a lot of denial around the shores of this Pa-Cha-Ku-Ku-Ka-Chu-Pey place,” continued Menoken. “Is that the capital of North Korea or South Korea?”

It is not known if the recent disclosures will effect plans to fill the reservoir with Bavarian Mimosas for Columbus Day, as has been the tradition for longer than anyone can remember.

– Crepes Suzette