Do People drink more during Daylight Savings Time?

Does Daylight Savings encourage more imbibing? “Over the years my aunt Ebaneezer became an alcoholic just so some iron worker didn’t have to go to work in the cold and dark. Is it easier to slam a few shots in the dark at 6 pm than to embrace breakfast cylinders or a whiskey omelet at sunrise. We’re sure to find out herein.

Spring forward…Fall down?

People concerned should simply adjust their drinking schedules by an hour. For example: If you crack open a beer at 6 am in July you should do the same at 5 am in January** or until the nation gets off Roosevelt’s Time and returns to Mother Nature.

Remember summer? People out on the porch drinking away the solstice  Just One More while marveling at the long days “I can’t believe it’s still light at 9:10.* Pass me that whiskey jar.”

On a related subject, yes, Slamming a beer in 4 degree temperature is not the same as slamming one at 90. It’s the same when one knocks down a brew. The afternoon beats the morning, unless perhaps the hops enthusiast started at daybreak (an hour later than normal anyway).

If you have completed the Colorado Drinkers’ Questionnaire or the 9-week approved class on bartending ignore the last paragraph.

Still confused? Try this handy formula

X/Y = ^ {678* x 876 </% – current consumption w/xyz and see what you get. Be sure to stock up on ice even in the winter months in case the crick don’t freeze.

Liquor store receipts are still up year round but may soon be affected if the monopoly beasts Kroger and Wal-mart are allowed to sell spirits They already sell beer and wine, gasoline and sushi, Starbucks and legal drugs much the the detriment of locally owned liquor stores and other tax-paying businesses. Just one more bitter brandy and the cold shoulder by gov’ment agencies created to protect the citizenry from from these kinds of corporate excesses. Oh yeah. You betcha.

*This shouldn’t come as a surprise. It was light at 9:10 on this same date last year unless Daylight Savings Time is cast to the wolves and politicians.

**Dark earlier extends cocktail hour unless there is no extension or termination

References:

Breakfast Cereals That Contain Alcohol by Pepper Salte, Testosterone Brothers, Boston.

Closet Sippers and Patio Crooners, Karaoke in the New World Sexuality, from Catharsis and Calamity on the Frontier by Uncle Pahgre, Eat Pets Publishing, Springfield, Ohio

“That man from New Iberia pass by, you know, the skinny ya ya, and ate 13 bowls of my mama’s shrimp gumbo then had the noive to ax fo’ mo’, fo’ ‘dem ‘cross the bayou. We won’t have no mo a dat.”

– Marceaux “Buddy” Fontenot,