Discerning bruin enjoys dining after hours

(Crested Butte) A gracious black bear broke into the Soupçon Restaurant the other night but, with the exception of a three-course dinner, did not harm so much as a linen napkin. His unobtrusive, methodical trail was easy to make out the next morning defined by his not so polite munching.
Gingerly intruders rarely order from the menu.

According to a spokesperson for the restaurant, located discreetly in the alley behind the Forest Queen Hotel, the delicate bear clawed his way in through the lonesome side door, ambled through the small, fragile dining room and made a bee line for the eats.

“We were cooking veal stock and that must have attracted him,” said a kitchen source. “But the stock was boiling hot on the stove. It’s hard to believe he could come and go so gingerly, more like a fox than a bear. If it were not for little piles of food and an open refrigerator door his visit might have gone unnoticed.”

According to the word on the street the bear ate 40 pounds of fish and hit the butter supply pretty hard. These figures were later determined to be exaggerated. Several other restaurants, including the Sunflower, were robbed the same night. It was not clear if the same bear (working alone) was the culprit or if a bruin gang is on the loose in Gunnison County.

“What can we do…put bars on the windows?” asked one other chef. “We have trouble dealing with the nuances of nature up here and hungry bears are generally anything but subtle. This one didn’t even bother to make reservations.”

The sophisticated Soupçon bear finished off his meal with chocolate tortes stored in the back of the cooler. Then he left by the same route that had brought him to the gorging gourmet bonanza in the first place.

“We have to share the earth with our neighbors but these break-ins are occurring at a rapid rate this year. Maybe our bear could arrange to show up earlier,” said the source. “Our second seating diners might enjoy the floor show. Hey, and we’re always looking for a dishwasher.”

– Tommy Middlefinger