Congressional Recess Nets Cuts, Scrapes

(Warshington DC — Playground Press — March, 2017)

Noon’s Congressional recess resulted in several scraped knees, an assortment of banged up elbows and at least one bloody nose according to hall and playground monitors here.

Empty swing after Congressional recess gets ugly

The most serious incident involved a freshman Senator from Colorado who was hit in the head with a brick, allegedly tossed from a nearby housing project. Of added concern was the condition of a State Representative from New York who fell face-first off the monster slide and lost a front tooth.

In other minor action, 13 congressmen from several different states have complained of having their lunch money stolen since Spring Break while an unnamed Senator from Maryland was reportedly hit by a bouncing “spit ball” check while he stood in line at the water fountain.

Readers may recall last month’s blotter where two Capitol pages engaged in “a frivolous and ferocious fistfight” over the swings with both of them falling into the gravel and tearing their trousers.

As the final bell rang the situation remained hopeless for most incumbents who returned to their assigned seats to complete the afternoon’s lessons.

– Gabby Haze