Clerk and Recorder Admits Forgetfulness

(Manana) Gerber Faust, the legitimately elected clerk and recorder in this rugged mountain county since 1968, says she doesn’t remember anything past 1978. The bombshell announcement has whittled down trust and uprooted fence posts, leaving constituents reeling from the Bland Valley to Goodenough Gulch.

Faust’s often coveted position in local gov’ment dictates that she records the goings on, especially those of the official persuasion. This is akin to documentation. Some data is kept in the immediate memory bank, some is written down somewhere for later reference, some is discarded as useless gray matter.

The presence of curtailed quotes, random notes and spurious formulas scribbled on her office wall has led many to believe she could not recall anything from clock-in to quitting time. One smudged entry appears to do with shoe sizes in Europe while another is clearly a week’s grocery list.

“I don’t remember when I stopped recording,” she said. “It might have been spring or could have been fall. The winners might write the history, like they say, but…Oh, I forgot the rest of it.”

The disclosure has raised eyebrows all the way to the state house with analysts asking if privacy junkies in mountain towns rigidly reject paper trails or if they simply vote by compassion.

“She had to work somewhere,” said one retired councilman. “She’s a delightful lady and in small towns forgetfulness can be a virtue.”

Despite transparent failures, Faust will continue on as clerk and recorder until at least the next election in 2022, a contest she is projected to win in a landslide.

– Gabby Haze