Apple Acquires Husqvarna

NOW YOU CAN WATCH THE BRONCOS
ON YOUR WEED EATER OR CHAINSAW

(Google Gulch) Apple Corporation today purchased Husqvarna Professional Products Inc for an undisclosed sum. In a flurry of trading the market’s uppity flow calmed down and the news was digested by closing time, underlining fears of a mass takeover of every aspect of human life by entertainment and data concerns.

The motor company makes chainsaws, motorcycles, snow blowers, lawn mowers, simmers and more. It is not known if Apple will continue to manufacture these and related items but it is surmised that it will go in the direction in 2017.

The possibilities of a major merger of computers and weed eaters is beyond comprehension and somewhat frightening to the thinking man or woman.

“I can’t wait to watch the Broncos or Nascar on my lawn mower,” said one broker. “This particular takeover is weird all right but it is the We have information companies that don’t produce anything buying up manufacturing entities that create tangible products.”

Apple’s second quarter earnings had been in decline as the company dismantled hundreds of robots once employed to build more computer components and clandestine hard-drive bunkers to protect the sacred formula for harvesting success from technological pirates and the gov’ment.

– Sergio Hinge