STUDENTS EATING CROW

(Gunnison Nov 8, 2016) Once it was gold fish. Now in what social scientists call the latest college craze hundreds of Western State College students are eating crow. Whether attributed to the food in the dining halls or the availability of the large black birds on campus the trend is gaining momentum just in time for graduation.

“It all started as a joke,” said Arlo “Benny” Winger, recognized as the first student here to dine on the ravens. “After a while the culinary advantages of living off the land became apparent and more and more people began the odd practice, even for breakfast.

Several faculty members have also been observed chowing down on crow.
“They taste a lot like chicken,” said Winger, to coin an old adage. “The fare is not subject to a lot of added hormones and steroids common to the present day poultry industry.”

At present visitors to the campus can observe gangs of students prowling the campus armed with sticks in search of dinner. Authorities feel that the practice will subside as fresh fruit and vegetables from warmed environs make their way to Gunnison for the summer.

“The birds are just getting a taste of their own medicine,” chirped Winger. “Anyone who travels the road kill corridors in spring can attest to that.”

One administrator suggested that while the practice of eating crow could be seen a distasteful by some it’s far better than the students eating each other or relying on fast food to satisfy their undergraduate appetites.

– Aerial Wayman