Biotech Pioneer Sloppy Housekeeper Says Mom

(Goat Gap, TN — El Moody Foodie — June 8, 2016)

A pioneer in the field of biotech foods often did dishes with a blow torch and carried out involuntary bacterial experiments in his refrigerator, says his mother.

“Mel would constantly rake his living room to keep it free of encroaching debris while discovering some 33 new species of mold growing to the size of a small dog in his vegetable crisper,” smiled Lucille “Mother Melba” Toole, hurling enthusiast and boat builder from Crookhaven in West Cork.

“I don’t approve of what those boys are doing over at the lab,” said the maternal Toole. “I don’t think people should eat food that has been tampered with, or modified genetically. Everything was fine on the job since that Monsatan rascal joined up. My boy Melvin may have 15 advanced degrees but what good are they when he spends the day making chemical fish sticks out of cloned egg shells.”

– Attila Diggins