NSA Caught Spying on Itself

(Washington) The National Security Agency has been caught with its pants down again. According to recently released data the spooks have staked themselves out right in front of the looking glass. The accusations received at 5 leading U.S. newspapers this morning allege that the spies have come full circle and lapped themselves and, in doing so have spent millions of tax payer dollars in the process.

Initial information leaked by Edward Snowden, the whistleblower now living in Russia, was enough to tip off senators already investigating the questionable activities of the bloated espionage crew. Soon surveillance verified that the arrogant beagles had been poking around, collecting intelligence, some odious, some petty, some meaningless, but all stored away for future application.

“These bozos are so wrapped up in the international cloak and dagger racket that they have been spying on themselves,” said the accompanying correspondence from Snowden. “After watching them I am proud that I released the damning data, although it’s starting to get cold here in Moscow.”

“We were working on an official apology letter to the government of Brazil, a nation spied on by the NSA, when we discovered that the scandal was much more extensive than we thought,” said Senator Oral Noise (Unitarian-CA). “We knew these sleuths were sniffing around but we didn’t really they had their noses up the posterior of allies and friends across the globe.”

Noise called the behavior of the NSA insidious and incompetent. He said that the NSA, which reports to the Homeland Security Agency had no real curbs or controls put on it and did pretty much as it damn well pleased in the name of the citizens of the United States.

A spokesperson for the rogue agency had little comment this morning. Rumors persist that the entire staff is severely constipated and called in sick for the the third day in a row. Most of the guilty parties have seniority, cannot be fired and will most likely be transferred to another wing of the gov’ment.

“If they were spying on Brazilian bikinis that would be one thing,” said Noise, “but they were spying on a friend with which we have had good diplomatic relations for decades.”

Several other victims of these ardent fanatics have filed official complaints with the state department. All have embassies in the U.S. All are angry.

“We must nip this kind of transgression in the bud before American tourists are not welcome anywhere, even Russia,” he said.