Wild Horses Get Life on the Range

(Maybell) Herds of wild horses roaming the open spaces here have been given a reprieve and stay of execution due to budgetary limits imposed by the Bureau of Land Management. The agency, which often destroys wild horses to control the flourishing herds and protect domestic stock, cannot afford to kill the beasts due to operational cutbacks and severe layoffs amid the shadow war against domestic adversaries and a plethora of sovereign countries.

     “We have instead rescinded the sentences imposed to a life sentence on the open range,” boasted an advisory board within the Department of the Interior.

     No new roundup of the wild horses is slated until at least October.

     Although no one actually expects the animals to comply with the judgment, the horses will be confined to an area of not more than 4000 square miles extending from northwest Colorado to southern Wyoming and eastern Utah. All previous transgressions on the part of the herds will be forgiven based on good behavior and compliance with the newly imposed code of ethics.

     A one-toed, hoofed spokesman within the herd did not return our phone calls Thursday.

– Earl MacAdoo