Swimming Hippies Kill Fish At Festival

Special from The New York Times

     Hippies swimming the San Miguel River near Telluride were blamed today for the deaths of over 400 fish in what authorities are calling the strangest case on record. A music festival was in progress on the banks of the river and the festival is cited as a major reason for the hippies’ presence in the area.

     About two hours after the hippies finished bathing in the river fish began to float to the top, certifiably deceased. A group of about fifty hippies id wanted for questioning but none have been located. Although no motive has been discussed police intend to charge the swimming hippies with leaving the scene of a crime.