Children’s Advocacy PAC Slams Leftist Media

(Dayton, OH) A little know child-advocacy committee has criticized a host of former allies in what they call the irresponsible liberal media. The alleged charges, according to persons familiar with the case, will likely morph into a civil lawsuit with potentially embarrassing results for all parties concerned.

The legal action claims “associating personality traits of innocent four-year-olds with former president Donald Trump is libelous to children and borders on child abuse”.

Initiated on the grounds that children were unfairly “linked to abnormal behavior on the part of an adult” (Trump) the suit has expanded to include the bugaboo card (abuse claims) and seeks to clearly identify victims and perpetrators.

“Every time we hear the liberal media lambaste Trump as a four-year-old it casts negative light on millions of pre-school Americans,” said Betsy Devisive, one of hundreds of former Education Secretaries tied to our schools. “It’s unacceptable. It makes these kids look bad and must stop.”

Defenders of the comparison say they never meant to compare anyone to anyone else.

“What a spin these bastards put on everything,” said Stan Pureheart (D-Costa Rica). “Instead of understanding the expectations of maturity levels and putting the ball in play these critics refuse to see the patterns of behavior here. We are saying that Trump is a baby not that all four-year-olds need a spanking!”

One independent voice from the back of the room said: “Democrats should be happy they have the GOP across the aisle allowing them to escape the scrutiny of inaction and naked class privilege that has haunted our political institutions since Yorktown. The Republicans should be relieved that their adversaries have no plan and no teeth to go with that absent plan. Both parties have more in common with each other than with the average working American.

Sadly, when asked, most heel-digger supporters of Trump did not recognize the reference to Yorktown in this piece nor could they expound on any analogies made to The Reichstag. Since none carried maps of the world no further instruction was possible. Many called the question itself fake news and ranted on about Hillary’s emails.

Meanwhile mob violence in the United States has achieved great strides in entertaining its detractors all over the globe while strengthening anti-democratic dictatorships as agreed to in the Putin Doctrine, loosely disguised as a take-out Chinese menu, and signed into law by the Senate on Thursday.

– Finn McCool