Ability to pitch and putt linked to diet and happiness

(Cedaredge) Success at the often dreaded short game separates golfers and dictates handicaps more than long drives and powerful second shots off fairway woods say sports doctors across the country. Finesse with short irons and a sure-handed putter translate into lower scores more than 80% of the time.

In short, while it’s fun to blast one off the tee, patience and control around the green is the secret to playing under par. And it’s all linked to what one eats and the level of enjoyment that he maintains.

In addition life expectancy is higher for people who play golf for fun not for scores. Players out on the fairway who don’t take the whole challenge too seriously enjoy a natural high while benefitting from fresh air and good exercise. As one of my uncles advised me:

“Look in the middle of the fairway where you want your ball to have landed, and not in the rough or the lake where it most likely lies. Maybe you’ll get lucky and find another ball.”  – Michael O’Healy, vagabond esq.

In  the Rockies you are likely to see deer and elk grazing on the fine green grass but I’ve seen more mountain lions up close than I need. Bear don’t generally give a damn if you are there or not. Coyotes will run if you pull out a six iron. If local ducks make a racket when you go into your backswing don’t take it personally. They may not be laughing at you at all.

Be happy you’re not living in intolerant times: Puritans Banned Golf in 1648 because it was a foolish waste of time. It is silly, they asserted, and causes anxiety and the use of profanity in many cases. Golfers are known to dress funny and not in keeping with the modest fashions of a God-fearing gentleman*. The sport often causes light bouts of alcohol abuse.

Remember the 90-year-old local man hit in the forehead with a well-struck golf ball last year. Soon after he gave away all his money to the Marmot Protection League. Well. we are proud to report that he’s still belting the ball at 91 and appears happier than ever. Sadly, when he’s not on the course he spends his days drys burning irrigation ditches in 35 mph wind. He has been blamed for 6 range fires since April 20.

And if you think that’s whacked out: Play golf right from your car! The Links at Mogadishu DRIVE-IN. We’re open 7 days!

*women were not on the agenda for participation in many sports during the Calvinist heyday.