US Will Be Gated Community by ’16

with Sam Greengrass, Holistic Sociologist 

(Denver) If current trends continue the United States could be a gated community in just a few short years. Rapidly expanding suburbs, poor

zoning, the shortage of forts and the disparity between rich and poor have all been cited as major culprits in this security/separation phenomenon.

Wealthier types certainly don’t want the great unwashed hanging out in their front yards. That’s normal. This problem can be averted by closing off access at the entrance of a fortified community. In more congested urban areas this is accomplished with a security gate while out in the suburbs an armed guard or dogs could be brought in to do the trick. Why? More cash out in the suburbs.

The key is avoiding eye contact with migratory groups and persons looking for a handout. Why should people who have made it be forced to look at those who have not been so fortunate? Good fences make good neighbors.

With both crime and the number of policeman on the rise one might base his gated status strictly with security as a priority, but he should always keep in mind that a locked gate is never a fool-proof deterrent. Criminals, who don’t usually work full time, have been known to be quite innovative when picking locks, hiding in septic systems, sneaking under doors, swooping down from oak trees and distracting security personnel.

“Until states like Colorado embrace the death penalty for burglary the epidemic will continue. People who have things that they don’t want to share with others should prepare to insulate themselves from lesser humans, intent on stealing and worse,” said Ancelle Ridgeback, who has made a fortune selling security systems worldwide.

“The gated concept is not just a reality in the cities and suburbs. People living in the mountains under the mistaken warranty that they are out of the mainstream and thus safe from intrusion, may be sadly surprised in the New World where criminals wander at will,” added Ridgeback.

While gates will do little good out in Hooterville there are other more effective measures that can be employed to assure the wealthy that the criminal element has been dissuaded. One such prevention device is a moat dug around the property. Since most poor people have never learned to swim they cannot cross over and get their hands on one’s goods. Another effective obstruction is a machine gun nest, or nests, placed at strategic locales such as the bedroom window, baby’s room, in the trees by the pool, or on the roof of the garage.

Dogs, for decades the security of choice for many in the upper earning bracket, are less effective since they cannot be trusted. Often distracted by bits of food, sirens or other dogs, these sentries may keep some people out while allowing others access. Nobody knows exactly why this is true but ask any crook or dog lover and they will tell you.

We all know that poor people are thieves. If you want to keep what’s yours you must take steps to protect it. While private armies are frowned upon by the federal element a few guards on patrol in the environs can keep sticky fingers at bay. They can also circulate in the immediate region watching for suspicious characters and plots aimed at taking your things. Many of these security persons are not afraid to confront a potential intruder and deliver a good beating for good measure.

As one investigates these approaches to heightened security he will find that there are many types of gates that will do the job. There is the Latin American approach which uses bits of glass at the top of the wall to deny entrance to even the most athletic crook. There are electric fences and trigger devices that fire an assortment of projectiles at intruders. There are road spikes and minefields too which can get rather expensive. Maybe the whole neighborhood could pitch in and provide community security…that’s the gated concept at the grassroots level.

Just take care to perform a thorough check into the background of any potential ally. Don’t let the kind of car he drives or the number of domestics employed, determine his reliability. The whole lifestyle could just be a disguise, an attempt to lull you to sleep while he takes it all. The last thing you need is a fox watching the hen house or one of them firmly entrenched on the inside.

Next Month: Secure Parking Methods and Car Alarms

(Editor’s note: If you plan to employ live ammunition as part of your security shield/gate be sure that neighbors are aware of your actions. Too many times innocent people are injured by stray bullets aimed at criminals. Hey, these folks are on your side. They are only trying to protect their possessions too. In these times of overpopulation and greed we must all stick together.)