The Tarzan and Jane Dialogues
M. Toole | Jun 11, 2014 | Comments 0
Part XXXVII “Upwardly Mobile”
(The scene opens in a tree house in West Africa. Tarzan is finishing the breakfast dishes as Jane pours over some figures in preparation for a loan officer’s meeting down at the local bank.)
Jane: I like you in that apron, dear.
Tarzan: Keep loincloth clean.
Jane: Don’t forget to take Boy to daycare, pick up my laundry and feed the elephants.
Tarzan: Cheetah already get laundry. Most of it belong to monkey anyway.
Jane: I just adored the wildebeest meatloaf last night. What do you have planned for tonight’s meal?
Tarzan: Tarzan plan leftovers
Jane: What? I work overtime at the bank and I come home late to leftovers?
Tarzan: Tonight boy’s night out on town.
Jane: Like hell. I have to work late and someone has to watch Boy.
Tarzan: Cheetah stay with boy.
Jane: Cheetah will be working with me as a financial consultant. We have new programs to kick off next month and she’s the best in the business.
Tarzan: Tarzan go out when Jane and Cheetah come back.
Jane: Oh, I guess that will work. Don’t forget that Tuesday I fly to New York to meet the stockholders and then on Friday I’m off to Brazil to finalize the construction of those condos.
Tarzan: Jane worldly. When come back?
Jane: I’ll call from Rio. Don’t forget to water the plants and no poker parties. The last thing I need is to come home to a tree house that smells like beer and cigars. Can’t you just have a nice Tupperware party like the other housewives?
Tarzan: Tarzan not housewife. Besides Tarzan win all the bananas in last game. Buy Jane new dress to wear to bank banquet with money.
Jane: You are such a sweetie…OK on the poker but no cigars in the tree house.
Tarzan: Jane not wearing that outfit.
Jane: Why not?
Tarzan: Colors no match. Eye shadow all wrong.
Jane: Really? Well I’ve no time now to change or I’ll miss my car pool.
Tarzan: Car pool? Jane go swimming. Ha Ha. Careful of crocodiles.
Jane: Now where did I put my briefcase?
THE END
Tune in next time: Tarzan serves chicken-fired antelope steaks, one of Jane’s favorites.
Filed Under: Reflections on Disorder