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Forest Service Selling Signs

Montrose) The United States Forest Service is holding its annual firewood sale now that winter is about to climax. The agency is slated to replace over 1.3 million signs, prohibiting an assortment of actions within the confines of national forests. The well-cured signs come only from Western Colorado trees.

Interested parties can purchase the signs/firewood on Saturdays throughout the spring. A full pickup load will cost approximately three ration coupons.

“This is some excellent fire starter,” said Cheery D. Spare of the USFS. “It’s nice and dry from sitting in the sun and splits quite easily. Buyers are urged not to use the signs for summer barbecues since the oil based paint may taint foods.”

It is estimated that the federal agency owns some 60 million signs that are often displayed everywhere from toilets to wilderness areas. It is not known how many signs the wilderness needs, but more than 90% of them contain the word No clearly emblazoned on their surface.

“The signs are meant for human direction since it has become clear to us that wild animals cannot or will not learn to read,” said Spare.

For further information, please text the USFS.

– Uncle Pahgre