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Soothsayer Says Situation Shitty

(Escucha del Monte) An often controversial, local visionary is not predicting a rosy future here in the land of knots and pulleys. In fact the prophesy is quite foreboding while alarmingly blunt.

“It’s shitty which rhymes with pity, city and kitty, among other words,” said the small, hair-covered beggar. “Shitty. What don’t you get about it?”

Notable herein is that the local seer, called Zilot by some and Toliz by others does not circulate among other humans but once in a blue moon. He/she does not make a habit of forcasting much at all, preferring to sit inside his secret  cavelike shelter constructed entirely of baby pinion leaf and discarded RV parts.

Cousins who visit him when his sociable security check arrives, say he keeps to himself and keeps his standup routine brief and to the point.

“This oracle joker is a  fake. I’ve seen smarter sheep,” said one local farmer who once sold prunes and dairy products to the futuristic guru’s extended community up Goodenough Gulch.

“It’s become fashionable to be eccentric to walk around in a sheet and then expect a payday for sharing enlightenment with us poor sops,” he smirked.

Our source went on to say that neither he nor his neighbors put stock in disjointed, unsolicited projections like these.

“We don’t need flapping lips to tell us the wind is blowing,” he said.

Nigerian missionaries bivouacked up Carne Canyon told The Horseshoe they were offended by the off-color word, clearly integral to the message, but to a greater degree in his surrender of judiciousness to the use of common proletarian profanity.”

-Kashmir Horseshoe