RSSAll Entries Tagged With: "Supreme Quart says No to Santa appointment"

Santa denied Supreme Court appointment

(Crested Butte) Supreme Court candidate Santa Claus was in town skiing today attempting to shake off the bitter disappointment of rejection. Yesterday the White House announced that it was withdrawing its earlier nomination of the jolly old elf to fill one of the seats soon to come vacant on the United States Supreme Court.

     “We were never serious about the appointment,” said a White House . “It was just an attempt at comic relief over the holidays. We need to keep a sense of humor here.”

     Whether the shunning will affect any future aspirations of benevolence in the political arena was not clear, nor were his immediate plans after Christmas Eve.

     “Even if we wanted to get Santa appointed we would have to consider such elements as his Canadian ancestry, his much publicized one-world views and the fact that he is far too young for the position,” said the source. “He’s still a kid. You don’t see our oldeconservative justices out there skiing at 20 degrees.

     Although no one knows for sure, Santa is thought to be about 170-years-old.

     “Maybe when he matures and reaches the appropriate age group we will resubmit the nomination,” said the aide. “After all, we don’t need some kind of generation gap at the highest levels of decision making in this country.”

– Suzie Compost