All Entries Tagged With: "Rockies"
TRUMP APRUEBA PUTIN PARA EL PRESIDENTE
Poniendo fin al temor de que apoyaría a Vladimir Putin como Presidente de los Estados Unidos, Donald Trump apoyó hoy al líder ruso como Presidente de la Federación Rusa.
Si bien los analistas de la Unión Europea sugieren que Putin no necesita mucha ayuda en su intento de reelección, “siempre existe la posibilidad de que no sea elegido y se verá obligado a asumir su control de hierro a través de canales más subrepticios.
“Putin dirigirá el programa aquí sin importar cómo resulte la votación”, dijo el líder opositor Alexey Navalny, un prominente activista anticorrupción, a quien se le prohibió postularse a la presidencia luego de lo que muchos consideran como una convicción fraudulenta inventada.
Las encuestas indican que Putin, un ex teniente coronel de la KGB, es un ganador seguro a pesar de las charadas que acompañan a las elecciones. Ha estado en el poder durante 18 años y ha llevado a Rusia desde el caos de Glasnost a un estado totalitario como el de un zar, donde no se tolera la protesta política.
“¿Qué es un poco de piratería, dopaje, gangsterismo, sanciones impuestas entre amigos?”, Dijo la declaración de la Casa Blanca.
“Aplaudimos la resistencia de Putin y su manejo de la prensa y de otros disidentes. Putin ha estado en control desde 1999, convirtiéndolo en el gobernante ruso más veterano desde Joseph Stalin y su infame bigote / bigote, que comenzó después de la Ofensiva Kerensky.
Snow architects need permit
Even pretty snowmen are on the reformist radar
(Crested Butte) Persons engaged at building structures from snow must have a valid building permit according to inspectors here in Gunnison County. Projects such as snow forts, snow pits, ice/snow sculptures, trophy igloos and even snowmen fall under this new regulation enacted by county officials on Tuesday.
The action comes amid fears of overwhelming snow depths this year. The legislation goes into effect in 2019 giving residents and visitors a grace period in which to finish up projects started in 2018. It remains to be seen whether or not other counties will follow suit on the controversial move.
“We’re forced to do something,” said one council member. “We can’t stand by while people build and build. So what if it’s all going to melt someday,” she said. “We’re concerned with right now. While we don’t blame people for taking advantage of cheap building material the situation here is deteriorating into structural anarchy.”
According to county records some 250 snow structures have sprung up since the last big dump, often blocking access roads and pedestrian pathways throughout the municipal region. With another 98 inches of snow forecast for this evening it’s a now or never proposition, according to people familiar with the seasons here.
“We busted a couple of kids building a snowman Friday right out on Highway 135,” said the source. “Now what were they thinking? Soon these kinds of violations will be subject to fine.”
But county officials promised to go easy on juveniles guilty of infractions, unless the situation is deemed aggravated.
It was not clear if tunnels, wind breaks, mounds or snowmaking operations would fall under this fresh criteria.
Citizens are reminded that stacked firewood, parked cars and loitering will be tolerated in accordance with the existing statutes.
– Suzie Compost
“If you are not willing to die for your freedom you don’t deserve to be free. Not this 3.2 freedom – it is real freedom from fear and want. Real freedom from the people who keep you down.” – Gyro Juju, 611
Alexa Talks Potty Language
ALEXA SMART TOILET – AN AFFRONT TO PRIVACY?
The newly manufactured Alexa Toilet, by Kohler is the ultimate who it comes to avoiding manual labor. It warms your butt, lifts the lid, plays your favorite tunes and quietly flushes. No, it does not wipe or take selfies. Humans will still have to deal with those labors on their own.
But is Alexa in the toilet peeking? Do you really want to talk to your her in your toilet? Isn’t it bad enough that you yell back at your television and can’t manage to get across the street without your digital map? How far will humans go to escape from what is natural? Is Alexa active in compost circles? Does a bear shit in the woods?
The dog collar was one thing but a voice-activated digital assistant somewhere deep in the recesses of the toilet? Even the Czars didn’t have this! Is this classified as a bathroom necessity like a whirlpool bath and a fluffy rug?
It all might be valid if the thing changed diapers, made martinis or put the seat back up or down, depending on priorities. We have a barrage of Smart technology but while there may be trickling on the commode I don’t see anything intelligent trickling down to the masses. The sticker price of $6,000 pretty much defines who will be enjoying this gem anyhoot.
And although she probably does prevent the spread of germs, Alexa can be dangerous. Already we have lost a slew of technology faithful who got caught up in the soothing voice and fell down into the fascinating lavatorial device. A few managed to swim to safety while others were located a few blocks away. Some will likely never be found.
Attention: Be very careful using hemp toilet paper. Jeff Sessions accidentally used some the other day and his mood has lightened a bit and his appetite has improved significantly. He is said to be listening to a lot of blues and giving away all of his money. Wow Jeff, and that was just on one hit!
CURE FOR MAD DRUGSTORE COWBOY DISEASE YEARS OFF SAYS DOC
(Ridgway) Dedicated researchers throughout the West have spent decades pouring over mounds of data. Hospitals have built wings dedicated to finding a cure. Pickups have more than doubled in price. Cow pies are still cow pies. A horses’ ass is still a horses’ ass.
Local medico, Efram Pennywhistle, a former PRCA rodeo trainer, says the disease will be around for years.
“There’s nothing really wrong with dressing up like a cowboy if it turns you on,” says the always-fashionable Pennywhistle,”just so long as the pretenders remember to where skivvies under their chaps in public and don’t bother the local herd animals.”
Recently real cowpunchers have been confused with the drugstore variety, who wear spurs to the grocery and keep swallowing their chew. Most are unable to saddle a blanket much less a horse says Pennywhistle.
“I suppose in a tourist area it’s far better to have drugstore pards loitering around doing rope tricks than to have suburban refugees in hiking boots running for public office,” he spat.
Pennywhistle then terminated the conversation saying that one pearl-studded hero couldn’t get his new boots off and he was needed in surgery.
– Bart Maverick
“The one who passes through the meshes of the net can do nothing for the one who is caught.”
– Ferdinand Kaisergruber in We Will Not Go to Tuapse.
What you need in Antioquia, Colombia (minus the arepas)
The basic accessories for a Colombian cowboy in the High Andes town of El Jardin. A sombrero and a ruana go a long way toward protection from the fierce sun. (Antioquians just add machete and horse to individual taste).
