All Entries Tagged With: "Rockies"
The Fear List (continued)
The updated roster of things to be afraid of compliments of
your feral government/the Trump Administration.
611. Identity theft
612. Terrorists
613. High cholesterol
614. The Devil
615. Serious hot dog consumption
616. West Nile Virus
617. Bees
618. Government buildings
619. Black men driving around in cars at night
620. erectile dysfunction
621. illegal aliens
622. Other terrorists
623. terrorists with their dogs off the leash
624. altered fruits and vegetables
265. second-hand smoke
626. broken glass
627. visible panty lines
628. A Black or Woman Democrat in the White House
629. Shiites
670. Low blood sugar
671. More terrorists
672. Alien terrorists
673. tsunamis
674. new age ideas
675. home-grown terrorists
676. habeas corpus
677. those awful environmentalists
688. bears
689. liberals in sheep’s clothing
Continued on page 41
Hazy Dawn in Colombia
The green countryside in the coffee-growing region of Antioquia in the Andes Mountains stretches west over these mountains to Choco and the Pacific Ocean. This visa is a few steps from my house which I am renting for six months. Great people. Great weather. (photo by Jim Nagano)
Commissioners Reject Road Guards
(Silverton) The addition of proposed metal traffic guards along portions of Molas and Coal Bank Passes was firmly rejected 4 -1, with Commissioner Faith Hope, of Hope’s Church Supply casting the single vote in favor of the project.
The other Commissioners, Harry Altman of Harry’s Towing and Auto Wrecking, George Poindexter III of Silver Lining Funeral Home, Dr. Samuel Butcher of Four Corner’s Hospital and Ves Smith of Smith’s Ambulance Service all felt that the guards were an unnecessary expense.
Readers will note that Butcher and Smith will begin their respective tenures in October but were allowed a practice vote on this measure to better prepare them for their coming terms.
– Donald Powers Jr.
“Three of my favorite pursuits were recently thwarted when I was refused employment by the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.”
– General Kashmnir Horseshoe, Cavalry CSA 1861-1863) and Artillery, US Army (1864-1865) retired.
It’s all attitude high above Jardin, Colombia
Jardin’s local athletes perform bicycle stunts daily on the steepest part of the road above town. This guy went all out when he saw gringos with a camera. (Photo by Leland Saki)
Brush Strokes
with Toole of the Andes
Guillotine replacement parts delivered to your basement or bunker. Bonded. Winter Special: Spend $200 and receive 5 little whicker baskets free of charge. Heads above the rest in service. www.robespierretech.com or see our ad in the Jello Pages.
Too busy or distracted by the political climate to fact check stories on social media? Send us $25 and we’ll do it for you. This recurring annual charge will guarantee that you are not made the fool by things you do not understand. It will be automatically withdrawn from your account based on our needs and your gullibility. We look forward to working with you. Editor’s Without Borders.
Fishing gone south so open a Fish Museum. Farming not profitable: Begin ah-tourism visits to Real Farms! Tree Museums? MINE TOURS? Breathing salons? ’57 Chevy simulated cruising in 1959?
Math Corner: If John spends 83% of his time watching FOX News how much time would he then have to post rants and polarizing statements on Facebook? 37%? 27% 74% OR 7% What about Mary? Would she think for herself the voting booth or simply vote the way John tells her to vote?
Can you last three rounds with Stephen Miler, the Joseph Goebbels of the current Administration? No prize money – jus the enjoyment of beating the shit out of a nazi racist pig. Watch out though. He probably has a razor in his boot.
“An evangelist should be careful not to identify the Gospel with any one particular political program or culture,” – Billy Graham, following the Watergate indictment of Richard Nixon.
We’d like to have a moment of meditation for our dear friend the departed colleague John Music: “Bugha Bugha.” Thank you for your patience.
Adopt a Congressman! The corporations certainly have.
Seeing the winter thru Rose-Colored Glasses
(Paonia) In an attempt to create a remedy for the dreadfully horrible and very real seasonal affective disorder or (Sad), extremely imaginative scientist have produced the first available rose tinted glasses.” The spectacles will be released to the public on March 1.
The disorder, affecting normal people in winter regions everywhere, happens during colder months since there is progressively less sunlight each day until the Solstice. If you feel exceptionally moody, hungry, tired, cold, bored, bummed, and overall hopelessly miserable, you may suffer from seasonal affective disorder.
Top scientist have figured out a way to contain happiness and then to transfer it into an ordinary pair of 2 dollar glasses. When placed upon the face, the wearer is reported to be immediately overcome with a sense of overall content and well being. Things appear brighter and more beautiful. Spokesman Zeb Smith told Horseshoe reporters “the glasses are a reward for all those people who struggle through winter each year and barely make it out alive. They may also substitute for smoking marijuana.
At this time manufacturers are quite unsure of the wide ranging effects the glasses could invariably create in the world. We suspect the results will be extremely positive. The best thing about them is that they are entirely invisible. No one needs to know that the wearer naturally hates everything during winter months.”
The glasses can be purchased at the Old River Road Trading Post for 2 dollars a pair. No exam is needed. If you feel no different when putting on the Real Rose Tinted Glasses then you do not have the disorder.
– Lady Jane
