All Entries Tagged With: "Red Mountain I Ams"

AYN RAND RETURNS?

A woman claiming to be the author, Ayn Rand allegedly appeared to shepherds on Corkscrew Pass this morning asking for water and directions to Ouray. She was accompanied by a Russian Wolfhound and wearing an ill-fitting pair of bib overalls said to be the property of John Galt, a character in one of her novels.

“We didn’t know what to make of the visit since none of us knew who she was and what she looked like,” said one herdsman. “She shrugged it off and explained her connection to Red Mountain and Saint Germain in particular.

Later, half-way through a bottle of plum wine she referenced shark-barrel economics through the rose-colored glasses of objectivism and encouraged the shepherds to invest their money wisely, since personal credibility is strongly linked to one’s financial success.

“She claims to have returned from the dead, continued the herdsman. She told us there is no heaven and certainly no hell.”

“They are here inside your punkin head,” she had laughed. “The afterlife is is very disappointing even to an atheist. There is not much, only miles and miles of empty handicapped parking spaces.”

Inmates in a nearby Trump camp have come out to support Ayn…MAGA sheep too are big fans of her selfish and debauched philosophies… that hoard while negating the big picture. Many even see her as a viable running mate for their beloved.

Meanwhile local Democrats worry that President Biden cannot even beat a failed gangster who, if elected, may have to rely on work release so as to come visit the Oval Office.

-Tommy Middlefinger

“Yeah,  just make up the bed, get rid of these bottles and send the boy for another jug of rum.” 

– Fred Zeppelin, waking up in a strange hotel room sumultaneously surviving the mid-day heat at Praia Criacao, Trancoso, Bahia, Brasil