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Many Porn Stars Do Not Use Real Names

(Lake Ontario) Fearing identity theft and worse today’s leading pornography icons have taken to using aliases in lieu of given names. While many of the monikers are clearly outlandish, some sound quite normal, minus the traditional onomatopoeia and sexual innuendo.

     Often reigning in confusion over duplication of stage names, sets must be constructed so as to accommodate a host of prima donnas and difficult personalities.

     “These people are not the easiest to work with,” said one director who said his name was John Doe. “They all want top billing while their integrity stops at the bedroom door.”

     The entire industry was pushed to the brink of chaos last March when it was announced that over 600 porn jobs would be exported to emerging countries due to fiscal and professional demands on the part of porn stars here.

     “While we realize that careers in this thin-skinned industry are short, there is no need to get greedy,” said Doe, “just because everyone else exhibits this devious behavior.”

     Doe pointed to politicians as another immoral group that tends to use family names even though they are often caught with their pants down as well.

     “I don’t know why these actors and actresses are making it so tough on everyone else,” he frowned. “They are in effect cutting their own throats. There are unlimited opportunities for them as lobbyists when they are finally over the hill in the entertainment industry.” – Dieter Upinshads

“You must focus on vocabulary. A mastery of words to do with sports, food,  dance, finances and women. That will pretty much get a bright lad like you what he might need in any culture.”   

– Justo Hipolito, Concordia, Argentina, 1903.