All Entries Tagged With: "miners"
Morality Dips with Summer Visitors
(Montrose) The Department of Ethics and Dogma has extended a rigid and didactic storm warning for the entire Western Slope from now until September 15. The seasonal caution comes simultaneously with the arrival of the first summer tourists to the region.
According to the warning, many of the visitors do not operate within the same moral guidelines that residents live by and therefore create problems relating to virtue and conscience.
The many diversions of the 21st Century have distorted the thinking and dictated the questionable actions of many party animals and ravers that come here looking for a good time. Those awaiting major events like floods, fires and the Second Coming have been urged to take precautions and decide where to locate during epic developments.
The official alert did not undress rumors that a former mayor, and father of 16, had run off with a circus performer and that elements in the city council had slept with Michael Jackson.
Uruguay routes Russia 3-0 to Advance in World Cup play
Celebration after striker Edison Cavani knocked in the third and final goal against Russia giving Uruguay a 3-0 victory. The South American team did not give up a goal in the first three games of competition. Uruguay will play Portugal Saturday.
Lower Blue Lakes. No snow. No mosqitoes?
Accessible from East Dalls/Willow Swamps or Yankee Boy Basin Blue Lakes offer a refuge from it all. It’s better to go during the week when there are fewer flies and the bear are working double shifts.
Are you experienced?
Playing a left-handed stratocaster James Marshal Hendrix was already an accomplished musician when he enlisted in the Army in 1961. Assigned to the 101st Airborne, he was discharged after a year and a jumping injury. Jimmy didn’t fit well in the military routine. The above picture was snapped at Ft Campbell, Kentucky.
MALE DOGS LIE SAYS STUDY
(Curville, CA) Old dogs do engage in new tricks if data collected at Cal Amari University is to be believed. According to a just completed study male dogs are liars.
Ninety percent of the canines observed attempted to lure female dogs into promiscuity by pretending to have food. The liars exuded or secreted a specific aroma that often convinced female dogs that the male knew where to get food or had food stashed. The results of the isolated tests have gone a long way toward convincing animal behaviorists that dogs are far more intelligent that had been supposed and gives further credence to the concept of letting a sleeping dog lie.
“It’s the same with male humans,” said Dr. Efram Pennywhistle of Cal Amari. “How do you think all those marginal restaurants stay in business?”
Pennywhistle, recently fired from his position as Head Wienerwurst at nearby Frankfurter Community College, insisted the data collected is relevant and that, in addition, cats have been lying to their keepers since the days of the Egyptians.
-Dag Katz
“Of all the people on earth only merchants tell the truth, but only when they are talking to each other, and sometimes not even then.” – Alessandro’s father Giuliani in A Soldier of the Great War by Mark Helprin
Reporting LIVE from Moscow
Hello to all of our friends in Uruguay from the 2018 World Cup. Above we caught Luis Suarez, Uruguayan striker leaving Leon Trotsky Stadium, his trusty mate gourd by his side. Although one of the favorites to win the tournament Uruguay has scored only twice in two games while holding the competition to zeros. If the defense continues its stellar play and Suarez doesn’t bite anyone (see 2014 vs Italy) the team from the South Atlantic should fare well. (Photo by Melvin “Yellow Card” Toole)
