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Homeless Trout Annoying This Summer

Gangs of the fish had begun congregating on the Gunnison River near Dos Rios Golf Club looking for a handout, and often looking for trouble as well.

The expected closure of the Roaring Judy Trout Hatchery could put as many as 40,000 unemployed trout on the street by creating a nightmare for police and social workers not to mention innkeepers and restaurateurs who are already overbooked for the season.

Insiders at the state level say the decision to shut down the longtime hatchery could be due to any number of things.

“Lots of time bureaucrats just spin the globe and point to an area that they want to fool with,” said Sal Mann of  Kebler Trout and Kokanee Services.

“It could be that some bored pencil pusher had a bad time on the Slate River last month or even something as silly as a jilted romance with a woman named Judy. It’s  astounding what goes on at the higher levels.”

-Small Mouth Bess

“21st Century religion is lacking in substance, spirituality, and dominated by control, fear and fairy tales. I long for the days when the Celtic warrior returned to his grand hall to praise his gods, the blood of his enemies still dripping from his heavy sword.”      – Finn McCool