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George Santos has not been elected President

(Muttontown) Burgeoning rumors that George Santos has not been elected President of the United States were put to rest today when Joe Biden showed up for work again.

The first term Republican Congressman will be brought up on charges of fraud and money laundering with large strands of gullible ribbon and little white lies holding it all together. 

Santos had no comment according to a report from unconfirmed sources from an undisclosed secret incarceration locale.

Meanwhile Santos sits in Congress entertaining lobbyist offers received from some of the nation’s most influential money people

We can confirm that George has accepted a position with Exxon but we do not know any more than that said one unreliable passerby.

“A disgrace to most Americans but a hero to us. What a salesman!”, said an undisclosed insider.  “It’s almost like a lobbyist spot was the original plan. He just waltzed in through the sleeping porch.

-Rufus Maxwell

Public Service Announcement: 

The new Dolores Dog Wash is not an Air B & B.

Please stop hounding us.