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I Love Lucy Episodes Can’t Be Stopped

(Hollywood) Subsequent showings of the once prime time I Love Lucy  cannot be terminated electronically, and will continue to blanket the airwaves for many years to come according to most network sources in Southern California. The programs, which have run in succeeding order, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, one after the other, for the past month, seem to have a mind of their own.

     “The whole things has an enchanted nature about it and in truth shows more creativity than this medium has seen since the Fifties,” said a published report. “Even if one entity owned all the TV stations in the country the phenomenon would no doubt continue.”

     The Lucy episodes began appearing on every network in America immediately following an Federal Communications Commission sell-out which allows for the further exploitation of the public air waves by rich, special interests seeking control of information. The recent FCC ruling allows for a relaxation of restrictions on multiple holdings across the country and opens the door to controls by the privileged few.

     “These are the fat cats that helped bankroll Dubya’s takeover,” said the source. “Now they are reaping the benefits of promised pay backs.”

     According to media watchdog groups these torturous displays of neurotic repetition are either an attempt by the government to distract the populace or could be the beginnings of an alien invasion of the planet.

     FCC sources tell us that they are studying the problem and hope to get to the bottom of the riddle before the new shows come out next fall. In the meantime it’s Lucy or the test pattern. Independent stations and public television representatives have expressed concern that their signals are being interrupted and/or sent indiscriminately into outer space.

     Despite a slight drop in ratings the changes in format have not been detected by our regular viewing audiences.

     “I especially enjoy the segments where Fred and Ethyl (Mertz) are featured but I don’t care for all the nightclub hype with Ricky Ricardo,” said one FCC clerk. “It just doesn’t seem real to me, but I’m a big cop show fan.”    

     Consumer advocates are boiling at the these developments but continue to echo the same mantra: You will not learn a damn thing by watching television. It makes one stupid. It is a waste of time. They further insist that the only way to combat Big Brotherism is simply to turn the damn thing off. – Fred Zeppelin